Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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