I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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