I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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