worst night to have a conscience
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
