mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
