Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
