I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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