She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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