Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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