i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I deserve this hangover.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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