But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
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He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
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Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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