She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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