the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
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you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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