just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
