I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
