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Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
