Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize