her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
