She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Come on in and take your pants off
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