was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
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I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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