NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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