So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
