They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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