You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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