i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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