I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
