i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
