Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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