Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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