I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
