are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
