Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
