We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
