I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
