How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
