i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.