Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm so fucking centered right now

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  (407): I'm so fucking centered right now http://tfl.nu/fs64
  Replies (3) Good night (1569) Bad night (658)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?

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  (612): So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it? http://tfl.nu/t4hw
  Replies (5) Good night (765) Bad night (1257)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning

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  (914): Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning http://tfl.nu/cata
  Replies (56) Good night (1171) Bad night (5219)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.

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  (580): Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged. http://tfl.nu/xha8
  Replies (57) Good night (2430) Bad night (4610)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.

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  (650): on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag. http://tfl.nu/s17l
  Replies (11) Good night (5752) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.

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  (570): martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/krux
  Replies (13) Good night (3250) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.

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  (260): He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis. http://tfl.nu/w515
  Replies (20) Good night (680) Bad night (1607)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore

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  (614): You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore http://tfl.nu/weu9
  Replies (3) Good night (882) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him

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  (484): you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him http://tfl.nu/re5m
  Replies (1) Good night (969) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?

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  (336): Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex? http://tfl.nu/6zbe
  Replies (6) Good night (859) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.

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  (217): I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think. http://tfl.nu/6ltd
  Replies (1) Good night (337) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway

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  (317): My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway http://tfl.nu/1ukz
  Replies (11) Good night (681) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick

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  (770): I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick http://tfl.nu/l70j
  Replies (3) Good night (967) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.

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  (281): Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see. http://tfl.nu/p7s2
  Replies (0) Good night (610) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?

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  (407): The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right? http://tfl.nu/xl1n
  Replies (0) Good night (456) Bad night (241)

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