i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face