ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking