Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
