Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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