Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
