Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Randomize
