We won't sleep together?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
