Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
