And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
