Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
