I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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