White coat. Heels.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
