The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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