I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
