yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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