loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
