I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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