I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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