I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
