just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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