i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize