Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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