There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
