apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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