Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
