I'm drive I can fine osifer
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
