Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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