i just google imaged poop.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
