Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
