"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Holy shit dude........stairs
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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